When I did NaNo, I had every intention of keeping up the 2000 word per day pace and finishing the first draft of my memoir by the end of December. Ok, maybe January 15. You know, taking a week off for Christmas and New Year.  Well, I’m here to tell you that I’ve written about 3000 words since December 1. Yeah, I’m pretty behind. What’s gotten in the way, you ask? Let’s see…a pulled muscle in my back, several doctors appointments for both the kids and me, a constantly traveling spouse (which leaves me with a lot more responsibility at home), Christmas cards, Christmas decorating, Christmas present shopping, and the requisite trip to NYC to see the Rockettes and go ice skating at Bryant Park (Rockefeller Center is too crowded.) December is an insanely busy month, let’s face it. Now I have to forgive myself for not writing much this month and make sure I get back on it as soon as the holidays are over.

Another thing I have been doing this month is reading about memoir writing. This is as important as actually writing, I believe. Reading good memoirs and reading about how to write good memoirs are like feeding the body lean protein and complex carbs before and after an intense workout. The workout is the writing. The feeding is the reading. Both are necessary for the end result. (Can I show you my “guns”? I assure you, they’re impressive. Oh, never mind.) Anyway, I am forgiving myself for not writing this month because the reading has been putting all sorts of ideas in my head about this memoir and the theme of it and the way in which I want to address some of the difficult subjects it raises.

The thing is, my natural writing “voice” is humorous. I find it very easy to write funny stuff, especially if I’m poking fun at myself. The memoir-writing book I was reading on the train into and back from the city yesterday was showing me how humor can be used to help the reader cope with disturbing subject matter. Not in a way that belittles pain, but in a gallows sort of way.  It talked about how, when you write about trauma, having an authentic voice is so important because the reader needs to feel confident that you are in control during the time of writing, and that you are able to write from a place beyond the therapy zone. I am truly over my trauma and think that what I have written so far is from that grounded place, but I wonder if it’s as engaging as it could be. My former blog readers tell me that I was funny and that they loved my blog voice — perhaps that is the voice that needs to tell the story of my youth. Perhaps instead of calling my book Good Girls Don’t Cry I should call it something like Girl Dork: Story of a Chronic Misfit and then make it hilarious instead of pathetic. Something to consider, anyway.

Either way, I suspect that even if I don’t write another word until January 2, the month of December might turn out to be fruitful after all.