Have Words Will Travel

I promised a full recap of the Big Day of the Poets Forum in New York, and yet here we are, two weeks later, and no recap.  I blame the sinus infection and bronchitis.  Antibiotics are my friend, though, and I’m almost feeling human again.

Of course, now a lot of that day is reduced to scrawls in my notebook, and my faulty memory.  I will say this: all the poets had really great insights to share about writing.  It was a very worthwhile series of panels and I wouldn’t hesitate to attend again.  I am disappointed that I didn’t get the opportunity to speak with any of them — people were quite aggressive about talking to them at length during the social bits afterward, so unless you’re really pushy, it was hard to get a word in.  I definitely had things I would have liked to say to a couple of them in response to their statements during the panel, but alas.  I may just have to resort to writing a few “charming notes” as Carolyn See would call them.

Meanwhile, I’ve been working like a fiend, writing, submitting, not getting any responses from my dozens of submissions that are out in the world (what is that all about? ), and now doing reviews.  I’m nearly finished with the review of Sally Van Doren’s book Sex At Noon Taxes, which will be published around December 1 on the site Gently Read Literature.  I have also offered them a review of the Cody Walker book Shuffle and Breakdown, which was given to me by a friend, and which I absolutely adored.  It’s a knockout.

Kim Addonizio recently wrote a How To Succeed In Po-Biz letter, which was posted on Poetry Daily last week.  I found it very amusing, if cynical, because of course it hit home.  Po-biz is a hard, hard road.  Why would anyone choose to be a poet?  Seriously.  What am I thinking?  It would be so much easier just to throw in the towel.  To not have to deal with all the rejections, and frustration, the lack of control, the anxiety, the egos, the poverty, etc.  If only I could make myself stop writing and submitting.  Alas, I am somehow addicted.  Obviously I’m, in some way, getting more out of it than I’m sacrificing.  It would be nice, though, not to get that look from people at parties who ask what I do.  “I’m a poet” generally results in people reacting as though I’m either insane or deluded.  Perhaps a little of both is necessary to the calling, eh?

Coming soon: the rest of the Academy of American Poets forum weekend in New York.

Every time I post here, I feel like I should apologize for not posting in so long.  But most of the time, if I’m not posting, I’m writing and/or submitting and/or reading, so it’s all for the cause.  Besides, is anyone actually reading this?  I didn’t think so.  (Ha.)

Anyway, since my last post, I’ve been busy…you guessed it: writing, submitting, and reading.  Also, hosting out-of-town guests, which is always fun.  A couple of days ago I finally came up with an ending for a poem that was really giving me a hard time, so I was able to slip it into its assigned spot in my manuscript and get that baby mailed out to a contest I’ve been wanting to enter for a couple of years.  And postmarked it three weeks before the deadline — go me!

My manuscript has changed so much since its original version as my thesis.  Like many theses, I would guess, it was a big rush at the end and I had to shove in almost everything I had that was remotely suitable in order to graduate on time.  So, although it passed all the readers and I got my MFA, it wasn’t something I was particularly ready to send out.  I had a poet friend look at it and got some great feedback from her, most of which echoed what my gut had been telling me (those guts, they can be very perceptive you know), but I still wasn’t sure exactly how to make it sing.  I wrote a few new poems that I really liked, which enabled me to remove some of the weaker ones, which was a good start.  And then one morning while I was drying my hair, I realized there was one particular poem that absolutely HAD to be at the beginning.  Once I’d figured that out, the rest of it pretty much fell into place with the re-ordering.  And although it probably still isn’t perfect (is any manuscript perfect?) it’s something I’m proud of, and I think is worthy of submission.  And I believe it makes much more of an impact the way it stands now.  All of which just goes to show that a writer’s subconscious knows these things, and sometimes you just have to be quiet and listen for it.

In other news, the new Poet Lore is finally out and there I am on page 34.   All I can say is, WOW, what a thrill!  Granted, it’s my first really good print publication, and therefore extra exciting, but does it ever get old?  I’m thinking perhaps not.  Funny thing is, they published one of my least favorite poems.  What’s that all about?  I guess a writer is not always the best judge of her own work?  Or taste is subjective?  Something like that…ha.

Now that the summer is well and truly over, I am determined to make it to more readings, both in the city and here in New Jersey.  I’ve been wrapped up in other things, but it’s important to me to support my fellow poets, and I really enjoy hearing other people read and discovering new voices that I love.  I think I will need to set a goal to get it done, though.  Perhaps two per month?  It’s tough with three kids and a husband traveling every other week.  Woe is me.

We have returned from vacation, all three children are back in school, and today was my first day alone in my house with peace and quiet for writing and po-biz.  I worked for awhile on a flash fiction piece I’m writing for an anthology.  I read most of a collection called Sisters by Nickole Brown (look for a review in the coming days), which isn’t technically writing, but it does feed the pool from which my poetry comes.  And then a poet friend challenged me to write a poem about the Large Hadron Collider, which was fired up today in Geneva.  Physics is a particular passion of mine and I was very excited that they finally got the thing up and running.  So, although I know a lot about the LHC and what it’s supposed to do, I spent a couple of hours researching it, and wow is there a lot of natural poetry present in physics.  I’m dreaming of a whole collection of poems inspired by physics.  It’s a big task — it’s not easy to write about science in a way that’s accessible and evocative.  But I always enjoy a challenge.

Well hey, I seemed to get a bug up my…uh…I mean I got all motivated after that last post and not only sent out three new submissions yesterday, but also wrote a new poem today. Go me! The only thing is, it’s been two months since I’ve even attempted to write a poem, and I swear I could hear the creaking and moaning of the gears in my brain as they attempted to rev up again. Must keep that machinery oiled, even if I’m just jotting a line here or there. Better to just keep writing a poem a week like I did during school. Keeps the mental bits lubed up, even if it’s not all usable. It is so unbelievably easy to fall out of the habit of producing work regularly, especially when there are no deadlines. I’ve gone a whole year without writing a word of poetry before, and that’s not a place to which I’d like to return. Especially knowing how amazing it feels when I get into a groove. That groove is worth working for!

Special thanks to my homegirl Tanya for inspiring me with her dead bird poem. Maybe not the most transcendent of poetic subjects, but take inspiration where you can find it, I always say. Anyway, dead birds are so much more interesting than, say, love. Or sunsets.

Apologies for the dearth of posting here.  The semester ended and Stuff happened in my life and I had to take a few weeks to deal and also recover from all the hard work, assignments, and the thesis.  I admit I spent a lot of time sitting around playing word games on my computer, too.  My brain needed the break.

Writing is back on my radar, though, because a chapbook contest I intend to enter has a fast-approaching deadline.  I spent most of the day yesterday ordering the manuscript, writing the cover letter, doing the formatting, and so on.  It’s all ready to go — so now I will procrastinate for another week before actually taking it to the post office to mail.  I really need to do some submitting, too.  I haven’t submitted a thing for two or three months and have lots of work to send out.  I dislike the administrative parts of submitting, but if I don’t submit I can’t get published, so I must force myself to set aside a couple of hours and just do it.

Also, my fellow poetry students have been exchanging new work for feedback, and not only do I need to respond to them, but it’s lighting a fire under my tush to write some new work of my own.  Which is exactly why we pledged to stick together even after graduation.  Otherwise, we’d all probably slip into a fugue state wherein we’d spend hours a day watching soap operas and generally doing everything but write.  We know our weaknesses.